2006年8月10日星期四
Everything went wrong... Really wrong..
A very long time ago, I heard of this story about this young boy, someone who was really timid and soft. But he was happy living this life like that. However, even till the age of a normal teenager, he still faces different kind of challenges. But many times, due to his low self-esteem and confidence, he just tries every possible way to shun away and avoid as much as he could. This boy would probably die if everyone on earth dies. He relied on those people around him so badly that he can be called a “JUNK”. His existence basically makes no difference. Not denying the fact that this boy still does have his own fortes and strengths. However, this boy would never volunteer himself to help unless asked to. Even he himself thinks that he is really worthless. Inferiority always creeps into his young conscious mind. All these wasn’t caused by anything, it’s just innate!
Only the appearance of this girl, his life changed. She constantly reminds him to be strong and bold. “Smack! Can you have some confidence in yourself!?”. A common phrase she would use to encourage or rebuke this boy with. Soon, this boy changed, he started to seem loud and outspoken, cheerful and always jovial. But all these are just masks put up. He knows that he HAS to change. He realized an essential need to be loud and playful. But this has caused him to suffer; it suffocates him. He knows it all, but he hated to return to his old self, someone who always lives behind some else’s shadow. So, he decided continued to carry and live behind this jovial and nonchalant-like mask. At this point of time, not to deny, his self-esteem and confidence level has indeed elevated much.
At the same time, this girl left him. Despite of that, he was still able to survive and live independently with the aid of the mask. He seems tough and strong. But deep inside, he is still timid as ever.
He shivers and trembles at every bold remarks and suggestions he gave. Every time when he does something, he tries his best to give the best he could because the inferior self always exist, he always think he isn’t good enough as compared to the rest. He WANTS the best for everyone. However, instead of doing good, it unfortunately BACKFIRED! People thought he was proud, and insensitive. This has slapped him flat onto the ground that forced him to think that he is a “JUNK” again. His self-esteem and confidence once again suffered.
Can this boy find his own identity? Is it better to live behind a shadow or a mask?
His friends told him:
Said: you're not the person we used to know.
Said: i feel you're over-confident.
Said: i feel so many times that so many ideas are rebuked.
Said: perhaps you dont feel it, perhaps it isnt true, but you have changed
Said: no longer as humble, no longer as willing to accept opinions of others, no longer as willing to just listen, no longer as ready to set aside time, no longer that simple innocent open brother
Said: instead, you are very conscious about your actions words YOU. you are eager to win all the time. you have become so inclined to want to fit into class. you are not so spiritual and god-above-everything
What should this boy do?
A very long time ago, I heard of this story about this young boy, someone who was really timid and soft. But he was happy living this life like that. However, even till the age of a normal teenager, he still faces different kind of challenges. But many times, due to his low self-esteem and confidence, he just tries every possible way to shun away and avoid as much as he could. This boy would probably die if everyone on earth dies. He relied on those people around him so badly that he can be called a “JUNK”. His existence basically makes no difference. Not denying the fact that this boy still does have his own fortes and strengths. However, this boy would never volunteer himself to help unless asked to. Even he himself thinks that he is really worthless. Inferiority always creeps into his young conscious mind. All these wasn’t caused by anything, it’s just innate!
Only the appearance of this girl, his life changed. She constantly reminds him to be strong and bold. “Smack! Can you have some confidence in yourself!?”. A common phrase she would use to encourage or rebuke this boy with. Soon, this boy changed, he started to seem loud and outspoken, cheerful and always jovial. But all these are just masks put up. He knows that he HAS to change. He realized an essential need to be loud and playful. But this has caused him to suffer; it suffocates him. He knows it all, but he hated to return to his old self, someone who always lives behind some else’s shadow. So, he decided continued to carry and live behind this jovial and nonchalant-like mask. At this point of time, not to deny, his self-esteem and confidence level has indeed elevated much.
At the same time, this girl left him. Despite of that, he was still able to survive and live independently with the aid of the mask. He seems tough and strong. But deep inside, he is still timid as ever.
He shivers and trembles at every bold remarks and suggestions he gave. Every time when he does something, he tries his best to give the best he could because the inferior self always exist, he always think he isn’t good enough as compared to the rest. He WANTS the best for everyone. However, instead of doing good, it unfortunately BACKFIRED! People thought he was proud, and insensitive. This has slapped him flat onto the ground that forced him to think that he is a “JUNK” again. His self-esteem and confidence once again suffered.
Can this boy find his own identity? Is it better to live behind a shadow or a mask?
His friends told him:
Said: you're not the person we used to know.
Said: i feel you're over-confident.
Said: i feel so many times that so many ideas are rebuked.
Said: perhaps you dont feel it, perhaps it isnt true, but you have changed
Said: no longer as humble, no longer as willing to accept opinions of others, no longer as willing to just listen, no longer as ready to set aside time, no longer that simple innocent open brother
Said: instead, you are very conscious about your actions words YOU. you are eager to win all the time. you have become so inclined to want to fit into class. you are not so spiritual and god-above-everything
What should this boy do?
what we could have been, 12:22 上午.
